New Door, New Discovery

Ryan installed a new door leading from our house to the garage. Claire patiently sat and watched in her monkey jammies...



After she got dressed she tried out the new handle...


And let herself out into the garage...

A*L*O*N*E

Dear Mama,

Have I told you lately that you're the most coolest, awesomist, nicest, funnest mama in the whole wide world?

Well, you are. Thanks for taking me to do fun stuff.

I really, really liked the apple farm we went to last weekend.



You're the best mama in the world for letting me pet goats,


and feed baby camels,

even if they nibbled on my fingers, I didn't care, I mean I WAS sticking my fingers in their noses...

And you even let me ride a pony...maybe I'll like it better next year mama (and I'm sorry that all the other mama's were looking at you when I was tearing at your shirt and whining to get off after one walk around).


I was really just happy playing with rocks,


and climing on fences.


But I did have fun on the tractor ride. It was loud and bumpy and had lots of other kids that I could stare at - cuz you know how much I like to watch other kids mom.


And there were lots and lots of apples...

some I picked off of the trees

but most of the time i just picked them up off the ground, I mean, they were already picked FOR us,

and put them in daddy's bag


I tasted some red apples,

And some gold apples,


I think that I liked the red ones, so Liam and I stopped for a snack.


And mama, thanks for picking up that furry caterpillar and letting me touch it...I seen you putting on hand sanitizer after I pushed on it too hard and green stuff came out of it and then you dropped it and you couldn't "find" it again, but it's ok.


I hafta go take a nap now...this blogging thing is hard work!

I love you mama!!

xoxox--Claire Elizabeth

Wordless Wednesday

You are my sunshine...

Happy 17 Month Birthday!

I blinked my eyes and you went from a sleepy, cuddly baby, to this...



And I'm lovin every single second of it!

Happy Birthday sweet baby girl, I love you more each and every day - although I STILL don't know how it's possible to love you more than I do today!

Love forever and always,

Mommy

PS. Check out Claire's new kicks ( :

Chocolate Cake

It seems like kids start school and strep throat runs rampant around St. Louis. I woke up yesterday morning with tonsils full of white puss. Sound gross? Well it is. I got ready and hi-tailed it up to the W.algreens Take Care Clinic in hopes of beating all of the other sickies that forgo an actual doctor appointment and opt to go the W.algreens route. (NOTE: If you’re never used the above mentioned “dr” it’s wonderful. You are in and out in about 30 minutes and can get your script filled there too). Well, I beat no one there. I arrived at 7:45 and there were 6 people ahead of me! I waited an hour and then was called back. I left with an antibiotic and was off to work.

Seven hours of mindless reading, typing, returning phone calls and I was headed home.

I felt like crap and decided that a piece of chocolate cake would absolutely make it better. (Thanks Mom for sending dinner and chocolate cake home for us.) I got a big piece of cake and a glass of milk and hunkered down on the couch. Claire saw the plate of dark chocolate goodness that I should have hidden better (more on this later) and found a spot right next to me on the couch. I broke off a chunk for her and we had our dinner, right there, together on the couch. Chocolate cake and milk.

Now, onto the topic of hiding food. Does anyone else do this? I mean, Ryan and I will practically eat with our heads under the table or in the fridge so that she doesn’t see what we have. Usually it’s a cookie or french fries or cake or icing or soda or anything with a straw or something that we know will make a huge mess and we’re just not in the mood to deal with. And you know every dang time she finds us and we always end up giving in and sharing with her. We laugh when we hide though…we are HIDING FOOD from our 17 month old daughter! I don't remember reading about hiding food from your kid in "What to Expect"...

Icing face

Lake Part 2

The first day was overcast, chilly, windy, but we still went out and played on the dock, splashed our piggies in the water and took a boat ride...in our jammies.







Claire manned the front of the boat the entire time...she loved the wind in her hair and occasional splash of water on her cheeks.



And snoozed on Auntie E for the boat ride home


I just can't help but smile when I look at this picture ( :


And yes, there's more for a later post...

A Heavy Heart

My best friend, Carrie, laid her mother to rest today. My heart broke into a million pieces for her as she said 'goodbye for now' to her best friend.

I could barely look her in the eye as she made her way up the main isle at Church. A flood of emotions raced through my mind and body today as the piano played the all too familiar songs and the Pastor recited the all too familiar Bible verses. I held Claire close and buried my face in her silky soft hair, thanking God that he gave me the most precious gift in the world.

Life is so unfair.

I hate that my dear friend had to lose her mother just before her 31st birthday. I hate that God took Bernice away from Carrie way too soon. Miss Bernice will never have the pure love and joy of loving on her future grand babies - and she would have been an awesome grandma! And for all of that, my heart just hurts.

Rest in Peace, Sweet Bernice. You've gone to be with the Angels in Heaven where there is no more pain...

Life is Good

There's nothing better than floating the day away...

Are you going to try for another one?

Two years ago this past weekend Ryan and I made the biggest miracle of our lives…but are we going to do it again?

It seems that I hear this question more and more. And I never really know how to answer it. I always wanted kids. Always dreamed of a family. A family that is more than three. I always wanted to say “the kids”, not “Claire”. (**Please note that I am extremely blessed to have the amazing little miracle that I do**) I wanted to give my children siblings to play with. I wanted Claire to have the amazing bond with her sister that I have with my sister. I want the sound of little feet and tiny laughs to fill my house forever. I want to pull the baby swing and the bouncy seat back out from the basement. I want to fold teeny tiny sleepers and socks. I want to shop in the “baby” section of the stores again. I want to feel that overwhelming love when I hear the heartbeat for the first time. I want to feel the amazing feeling of the first movement, the first kick, the first roll while inside of me. I want to hold my baby close and nurse. I want to feel the peace that comes with holding a sleeping child. I want all of that.

But I am terrified.

I am so scared of leaving this world too soon. I am horrified at the thought that another pregnancy could take MY life and leave Claire without her mommy. I am well aware that my pregnancy with Claire could have killed me. I was terribly sick at the end and it was ME who had to deliver early to save both of our lives. And I am scared. No one can take care of her like I can. No one. I am scared that another c-section may go wrong. I am scared that I may not wake up from the anesthesia. I am scared that if I have to deliver early that we will live the NICU life again. And I don’t know that I’ll be strong enough to do it again.

Peace.

I pray for peace of mind. I pray that God will lead me in the right direction and put my mind and fears at ease.

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Over the River and Through the Woods

I meant to plan a fabulous family vacation this summer. I had every intention of packing up the car and getting away for a week. But with a bizzillion appointments and a sick little girl last winter, it seems as though all of my vacation AND sick time were used up very quickly. We decided to take advantage of the long Labor Day weekend and head to the lake (Tablerock lake for those of you who aren’t from ‘round here) for some much needed downtime.

First of all let me say that we have never travelled with Claire before. I had no idea the amount of baggage required for 3 days at someone else's house. So, I gave Claire one of these,

and got to packing.

The forecast called for rain most of the weekend but we decided to cross our fingers and pray for the best. We left Friday evening and ran into a ton of rain which made the first stretch a lot longer than we anticipated. We thought that it may be a good idea to stop and feed the darling little angel in the backseat when I noticed that the clock read 7:30!! So, we stopped at a W.endy’s and Claire was introduced to her very first Frosty…which she loved! (Who wouldn’t?!?!) I was soooo excited to stop at a W.endy’s because they took all of them out of St. Louis a few years ago and I am a big fan of the Frosty. Moving along... We got back in the car and Claire was introduced to another first, the car DVD player.

We borrowed one from some friends and Claire was enamored with the purple dinosaur that danced across the screen…for two and a half hours!! When we bought my car we thought kids were in the far, far future and never even gave a DVD player that was built in a second thought. Our 4 hour drive took a little over 5.5, but we got there safe and sound at 11pm with one tired little girl...



To be continued...

The end of the lazy, hazy, days of summer

Fall is blowing in too soon. The windows have been opened, letting in a crisp breeze that fills the house with the smell of the outdoors. The days are getting shorter the nights are getting cooler. I bundled Claire up in socks, a jacket and a blanket to go for our walk last night. I pulled out leggings from the spring that now show a little ankle bone sticking out. The store shelves are stocked with pumpkins, costumes and Halloween Candy. I’m not ready to let go of the lazy days of summer.

I’m still hanging on to summer…the smell of sunscreen lingering on Claire after a day in the pool. Swimming suits with no diaper that show off the cutest tush in the world. Pink crocks on little baby feet. Sun hats. Popsicles on the deck that drip all the way down to her toes. Saturdays at the pool. My tanned husband. Wine on the patio with the baby monitor swooshing in the background. Flip flops. Tank tops. Bubble outfits on Claire. Evening walks. BBQ’s with friends and their kiddos. The park. The carefree evenings that seem to go on forever and ever...

Wordless Wednesday

I fall in love with this face, over and over, each and every day...

The Sweet Side of Life

Just when you thought she couldn't possibly get any sweeter than she already is...



She enjoys her very first sprinkled donut!



Maybe there is a sprinkle left on my arm here...



Life is, oh, so sweet!